Seeking

Question: I’d like to know what kind of experience Self-realization will be, so I’ll know when the search is over.

Hanuman: This is what is so misunderstood, that there is some kind of experience that people imagine is ‘it.’

There is this continuing quest for that experience, either more of it, or longer of it, or shinier of it. Sooner or later, it dawns on the seeker that That which I am, my eternal nature, isn’t something that comes and goes. It is not an experience that has a beginning and an end. It is not some object that can be investigated or described.

You know we speak these words: ‘I am pure Consciousness alone,’ but Consciousness itself is unknowable. It remains a mystery.

Self-realization itself is a great paradox. On the one hand, that which we are remains ever a mystery. On the other hand, it is utterly familiar. The mystery reveals itself as mystery.

So, it is said you cannot know who you are, you can simply be as you are. It is a great relief. One can see that the spiritual life is not simply about seeking. It is not about attaining. Yet that is what is familiar for most spiritual seekers. So finally, one sees, one understands, that there really isn’t anything to attain. It already always is — already and always.

There are such conditioned beliefs and ideas that the spiritual life demands some rigorous meditation practice. That is at the heart of most spiritual paths. One can see now that this striving and effort simply reinforces the idea that I am a separate individual. But one can pierce through all this and see I am pure Consciousness alone. Nothing is required. No effort is necessary.

I remember someone once asked the Master: ’You so often say no effort is necessary. But you have done forty years of very intense sadhana. Why then are you saying now that no effort is necessary?’ The Master responded: ‘It took me forty years to realize no effort was necessary. Let me save you from such needless striving and suffering.’